Tearing thoughts

Some things you’ve lived you cannot share. Some things you’ve lived you have to bear. In the silence of your heart, in the hidden ache of your tears, in the gap of harshness pilling you in.

We all long for that perfect someone, that perfect lover, that perfect friend, that perfect next of kin, that perfect companion… regardless of the bond’s nature, we each long for those ears which will hear far more than our words. We long for those eyes that will see beyond the mask and share the burden of that loneliness we are struggling with. We all long for that heart that will go far in time in search of a way to help us heal… We all long to hear words that will make us feel that indeed we are not standing on that thin thread on our own… We each long for acceptance, understanding, a certain type of freedom that allows us to feel and express without fear of being judged and viewed as the constant complaining one, the so-called negative one acting out of the norms…

That longing often leads us astray, to a side of the road where being used and abused in the name of acceptance is so common!  Words like trust, values, uniqueness, standards, genuine understanding… these are part of dictionaries, long lost words, obsolete expressions we barely make sense of in our hunt for wealth, pride, spotlight. Yes! These are the norms…

Norms? What norms! Please pray tell! What norms? Those of a hypocritical society in which councilors are committing suicide, in which business holders are the greatest thieves, in which the holders of faith are acting far more like robots pouring out words in which they hardly believe.

Angry? Indeed I am! At times it feels as if each being still breathing is only counting the days till the next exist. Yes breathing! But NOT living! We are all pretending, actors in a masterpiece theatre. Where is the hand behind this mess? Who has instructed us how to be bloodsucking creatures while holding a semblance of manners? We give ourselves names and titles, yet act nothing of it! We call ourselves whatever pleases our fantasies, but make nothing of it! How very disturbing!

Are my words shocking? Do they disturb you? Scratch you the wrong way? If yes then my goal is met for I am simply… tired of pretending to understand what I can hardly stand.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s