Is it normal to feel sad? Yes
Is it normal to feel drained? Yes
Is it normal to have down times? Yes
Is it normal to see nothing but a total blur at times? Yes
Is it normal to think this post an apology for negative emotions? Yes
Now, is it normal to back down and simply let yourself be dragged by the veil of uncertainty? This one is a big, fat NO
I am not trying to be overly positive. Not at all! There are indeed times where, for no apparent reason, something simply feels amiss like you just don’t recognize yourself and you end up wondering what’s the point of everything… I mean really EVERYTHING. You simply get lost in translation, out of words, with no desire to move and step up. It is as if an invisible force was trying to pull you under with each weird thought, weird nightmare, and weird emotion leaving you emptier than you were already feeling…
I am going through such a moment and, call it serendipity, call it faith, call coincidence, call it signs (as I do), many things simply pop out of nowhere to remind me that I am on my journey for a reason, no matter how confused it gets me at times. I saw the “fighting pain with laughter” video on Facebook, I saw some specific self-acceptance quotes on Instagram, I received daily motivation readings from a friend with details on the why of the world’s tormented current state… these signs are there to remind me that I AM, that I am not just a vegetative being, but a thinking one.
I am NOT a mistake. I was not just dropped there "out of the blue". I may still be struggling to find MY reason for being, my reason for being on that specific path. But never more will I believe that I just "happened" to be here at this stage, at this age, in this position simply by sheer luck. No matter the pain, the tears, the doubts, I will LEARN, TEACH and GROW through it all.